Scrubbed
by shooptastic
Summary: A wrong turn and a bad choice leaves Antonia Fernandez Carriedo inside the hospital with the feeling of immense guilt. But, when she meets Lovina Vargas, a intern studying to become a nurse, and quickly falls head-over-heels in a narcotic-induced daze.
1. Chapter 1

The tightened hand in her palm stung like a thousand snakes' teeth into her veins. She felt as if she was a tiger in a cage, unable to move, unable to be free. Her skin was in covered in a thin veil of perspiration, clammy and sickly to the touch, something she never liked to have.

It was almost too hot. The fiery burn under her skin tingled and itched. She peeked open an eye, just to see what she could make out. It smelled sterile and just a little too safe, yet the air was filled with panic that made her skin crawl with concern. The blinding flicker of lights, one after another that seemed to move in such slow motion she felt distant and uncut from her body.

There were people running by her cloud of pain, rushing on their tennis shoes and their silly looking scrubs. One, who was tightening her hand, someone who was clearly very under experienced, with bright hazel eyes and a bouncing head of bright, beautiful, thick auburn hair that traveled behind her like wings.

At least she could pride herself with an angel to look at who clenched her hand and cried for her as she slipped deeper into her stupor. She was positive it'd all go away eventually.

. 0 .

Antonia never expected for her guy friends to suddenly convince her to drive them home, purely for the fact that she was a woman, and that she did all the work; drunk bastards. She couldn't do gardening or laundry to save her life. She never expected that dangerous looking truck coming from the right side of her Toyota Camry and plowing her into ongoing traffic.

Nevertheless, she was deeply regretting ever going out to have a 'friends night out' with those snot-nosed pricks, for now she was laying down in a hard framed bed with an IV stuck in her arm. Emergency room, ICU, Operation, she didn't want to think about it. Thinking hurt more than it usually did, right now.

Lovina walked briskly with her head held high, her charts tucked under her arm. _No_, she had _not_ just had a breakdown in the supply closet because of her lack of sleep from her studies and the workload tonight. She was a medical _professional_ and she could do her job!

She cleared her throat loudly beside the bed of the woman who hadn't been conscious earlier and flicked through her charts in a highly affected manner.

"Miss Fernandez Carriedo?"

Her eyes opened with a sharp gasp. Good Lord, she nearly pissed herself. Everything was all fluorescent and bright again and just… why would anyone want a room this bright?

"...yeah?" She asked, sitting up a little. Oh, god, her head, her arms, her legs— had someone cut off her legs? She couldn't feel them.

Looking down as fast as she could, she was relieved to see they were still there, under the starchy smelling sheets of the hospital bed, all ten of her happy little toes. She didn't know what she'd do without them.

Lovina nodded and took the seat beside the bed, taking a quick, deep breath in while her patient checked herself over. "You've suffered some injuries to the head; I have to ask you some questions. Is that alright?"

"Were you crying?" The drunken patient nearly sprang on the nurse, placing a scratched up hand on her. "Why were you crying? What's your name?" Her head really was pounding, but the cement-like bed staring at her with those papery like pillows wasn't looking like the best option for her, now.

"No!" She snapped, scowling at her over her papers and pulling a pen from the pocket of her wine colored medical scrubs. "My name is Lovina," she pressed, because it wouldn't do to shout at a patient with a head injury. "But you need to tell me about you. Can you tell me your full name, and your age?"

She whistled and slid back, admiring how nice her hair looked in these too-bright lights. "..._umm_... Antonia Fernandez Carriedo," She replied, trying not to make eye contact with her IV by shoving it under her blankets. She had seen too many horror movies concerning these clear-tube killers, already. "I'm seventeen? I was in the hospital when I was seventeen, when I was younger too."

"Be careful with that," Lovina sighed exasperatedly, taking her patient's hand and putting it on top of the sheets again, so the IV didn't move when she pushed her arm underneath. "Just try to ignore it. Are you sure you're seventeen?"

"What? _Aw_, honey, you're really sweet do I look like I'm seventeen?" She laughed, stroking her face with the free hand. "I should keep using that new make-up, I guess Francis wasn't lying when he said it was really working for me!"

Obviously, this woman hadn't seen what the crash had done to her face. She looked worse then most, but she didn't seem to mind anything other than the IV. It must have been from all the narcotics.

Lovina frowned at her and pulled back, writing quickly on her charts. "Do you remember why you're here?" she asked firmly, giving her a no-nonsense glare.

Antonia hesitated, unable to get the words from her head onto the tip of her tongue and outwards. "Um... did my family member die? Or did Francis and Gilbert get admitted?" She shuffled out of her spot in the bed, leaning over to look at Lovina's clipboard. "Vaahragas?" The nurse pulled her board back and gave her a gentle shove back onto the bed.

"No, you were in an accident..." Lovina crouched to look her in the eye, since she kept zoning out and blinking. "_Who_ are Francis and Gilbert?" she asked, aware that they were down the hall somewhere being seen to. "Can you tell me about them?"

"_Aah, sexist bastards..."_ She hissed, shaking her head. "They had me drive the car because _I_ was the woman and that's what _I _did. Because _I'm_ supposed to be nice and…" She trailed off, rolling her eyes and trying to get comfortable with her gross, itchy paper gown with a breeze in the back and a pattern of blissful little cows hopping over crescent moons.

"Antonia," she snapped her fingers, tutting, drawing her attention back. "Did they force you? Can you remember?" Her patient made a face, a whining sound and slid a piece of her curled, matted hair back.

"No! They didn't force me, they just convinced me because I'm the best driver, and besides, it was my car!"

Well, Antonia wasn't the best driver. She had a safe car for her horrible driving. However, she was a hell of a lot better than Gilbert, who just swerved around for fun.

"Are they in here or not?" Antonia tried making a little bird call signal, unaware of the fact that they _had _no signal and she was probably looking like a fool, perhaps calling the birds back to their nest in her hair.

"Okay, okay! They're being seen to, calm down..." she huffed, putting a hand on her shoulder and persuading her to sit back. She could barely tell if she was concussed or just drunk. Nightmare. "Are you in pain?"

Antonia pulled yet another face and finally decided to just sit back and relax while the cute intern in her wine colored scrubs that made her remember all the horrible choices she had made that night asked her questions. "Um, the IV is— why do I even have this?" She hated these things. They were so scary.

"You have to keep that in, it's injecting saline to make up for the drop in your blood pressure," Lovina recited from her textbook, proud of herself.

"Isn't that the stuff you use in your eyes?" She asked, rubbing her forehead. "What if there's an air bubble—"

"There won't be, _trust me_. We know what we're doing." Lovina told her, again, filled with pride at being able to say something like that.

However, she had to remain professional and in control. Lovina remained outwardly ratty and shook her head disapprovingly at Antonia.

"Don't you know it's against the law to drink and drive?"

"Those two men peer-pressured me into driving them home!" She argued, striking her thigh in frustration. "Here, can I go see them? I need to give them a piece of my mind… making people strip me down and give me this to wear; don't they know its mid-winter?"

"No, _no_!" she scolded, standing up and holding her back. "You have some damaged tendons in your leg; don't try to stand up until I say its fine." Lovina put on her best serious doctor face for the extremely serious topic at hand. "What did they do, Antonia? Did they harass you?"

She snorted; more amused for the fact that this cute intern woman thought she was in charge. "Well, no and yes, hey're just douche bags, don't worry about them, honey."

She scoffed and frowned at her. "You are my patient and you're in my care, and furthermore, whether I worry about them or not is my concern, not yours," Lovina said haughtily, crossing her arms and tucking her charts away. "Did anyone hurt you? It's important that we know what happened in the crash and what happened before it."

She made a mental note that was cascaded into a drunken abyss to check the charts to see what she wrote. "Well, Lovani Vaargases, I'm sure I can't help you in that department. All I know is that I was driving down a street when my friends said I should just make a run for the red light… Don't you know all this? Why are you asking me?"

"Lovina Vargas." She corrected her, and then tutted and shook her head. She was being professional. "And I'm asking you because I need to see how much you remember. You could have done yourself some very serious damage, you're almost lucky to be talking to me."

"Right, right, Lemon Vargashes," She answered, nodding. "But, I don't really remember most of anything. I had a lot to drink last night... or this night. What day is it?"

"It's Sunday," Lovina answered, sighing. So much for reporting back with answers. She was going to look like a total idiot who had no idea how to talk to her patients. "I just need to take a blood sample and you can rest up again."

Antonia nearly slammed back into her bed, the IV clattering beside her.

She. Hated. Blood.

"H-How, honey? Are you going to stick a needle in my arm or my thigh or my neck or are you just going to take a drop or-"

"Hey!" She scolded, righting everything before she scooted off to the nearest cupboard and pulled out a syringe. "It's just a little needle..." she started, sitting down by the bed again, breaking open the plastic packet, holding the syringe up to the light and giving the glass a tap with her fingernail.

_Why not just- I don't know, break it with your little cute fingers you witch; what are you going to even test me for? AIDs? Influenza? _

Antonia's inner monologue was cut short as she made a whining noise to show her immense displeasure, but really, how worse could it be compared to the IV?

"Fast or slow?" she asked, taking Antonia's hand and holding her arm out.

"What do you mean?" She demanded, yanking it away. "Would I want the terrifying process of watching my blood go into a syringe go slowly or quickly just so I can get a Blue's Clues Band-AID?"

"I mean, do you want me to put the needle in slowly or quickly?" Lovina huffed. "Look, this is going to happen whether you like it or not, so just give me your arm and get it over with."

"Do you stab me or just slowly shove the thing in? I don't know, Leviouso, whatever floats your boat!" She gave her the arm, clenched her teeth and looked away. God, this always sucked.

"If you're nervous...," The nurse hissed through gritted teeth, "... I'll do it slowly. You ready?" This woman was getting ridiculous.

She made a terrible moaning sound, just ready to get it over with. God, had this woman ever learned to get started on anything? She needed to sneak off to find her friends.

"Three..." Lovina took the syringe and placed it just above the skin, watching Antonia squeezing her eyes shut and turning away. "Two—" She stuck in the needle and drew it back, filling the tube and taking it out of her arm, pressing a cotton ball to the tiny wound. "There."

Aah, she was the bravest thing. In addition, Lovina, or whatever her name was, she'd remember later, was a witness to it. Plus, she'd tell her friends all about it. "So what did you write on the charts?"

She sorted her syringe and placed the sample on a tray beside her bed. "That you're still inebriated and it's too difficult to get any answers from you," she replied, dabbing Antonia's arm.

"Then, ask me to solve a math problem. I'm really good at those." She settled back in her bed, disappointed that she didn't get a ridiculous band-aid she could show the two down the hall. "Wait, where's my phone...?"

Lovina nodded at the cupboard beside her bed, but immediately scolded her for trying to move. "What do you need it for?"

"I need it to do something until I get knocked out from whatever meds you slipped in my bloodstream while I was still asleep." She snorted, picking it out from the drawer.

"To do what?" she demanded, watching her. "I should confiscate it; it can mess with our equipment!"

"I don't know. It's an iPhone, what else could I do with it?" Antonia shoved her phone under her back, smirking. Loveenia would never look back there.

"If you're thinking about texting your pig friends, the French one's out for the count and the other bastard's has his taken off of him," She snapped, getting sick of being constantly disregarded. "I suggest you just try to rest."

She pouted, unaware of what 'out for the count' meant. Well, there was always Google, right?

She slipped it from her back and punched it in. "I'll pass out soon, hon, don't worry," She smiled at her, surveying the room for anything she could make her escape on. "Also, um, where did I get hurt?"

"You banged your head pretty badly," Lovina began, flipping through the chart to find out exactly what the problem was. "Ah. Suspected mild concussion, damaged tendons in right leg, broken thumb and index finger in left hand, cracked rib, bruising on the chest and abdomen and cuts on your arms, shoulders, and face from the glass," She finished, looking up at her. "It's not so bad on your face."

But a definite need for some stitching on her forehead,

"Good, what else am I going to charm the nurses with? Aha," She spotted a pair of crutches in the far corner of the room; maybe she could get a straw or something to tip them over to her. "Thank you, Lovina! I'll be sure to get lots of rest now!" Smile. Just smile.

"Lovina," She nodded. "That's it." Recalling previously made points in conversation, showing signs of comprehension. These were decent answers to give. "I'm going to get you some water and leave it beside your bed. I want you to drink as much as you can and sober up for me. Understood?"

"No problem, nurse!"

_Get out. _

"I'll just be sitting here,"

_Bull shit. _

"In a few minutes I'll be out like a light, I really don't even need the water!"

_Just go away..._

"You need to keep hydrated," Lovina replied, clipping the charts to the bed and picking up her sample, walking to the door. "I won't be happy if I get back here and you're trying to move around," She warned, giving her a final glare. "I'm telling you to rest."

She had to admit. Even if every sense in her little devil on her right shoulder was telling her no, just fuck off, she sunk back down into the bed with her phone and tried to distract herself.

Lovina went back to the desk, writing off Antonia's paperwork with big important doctor-y words that made her feel big and important, and put her blood sample on the tray to be sent to analysis. Satisfied, she made her way to the water cooler, frowning as she passed Francis' room. She would have to try to figure out what Antonia had meant about them and her clothes.

Antonia just settled for some shitty WI-FI, pulling up what she had meant for 'out for the count', finding that Francis was in a deep coma of some sort and slamming her phone back to its position by her pillow. Good thing she had a password she could remember. Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, sies. In Spanish. No one in this 'bloody' country could even speak Spanish well enough for her phone to pick it up.

There were a few jugs kept beside the cooler, so Lovina took one and half-filled it, deciding to be particularly kind and stop off at the ice machine, too. Although it was freezing outside, she was feeling the heat in the hospital, and Antonia always ran the risk of a fever. She was such a selfless nurse. And, so humble, too.

Antonia couldn't bear to keep this IV on any longer. It was tugging at her arm and she was afraid that if she didn't keep it where Lovina told her to, she'd die from the air-bubble incident always shown in TV. She didn't want to take it out either, because hell, it seemed taped in there. She just wanted to sleep so she could wake up, see her friends, and give them a piece of her mind...

Lovina carried the jug back with a glass in her other hand, and stood by the door for a second to listen for Antonia trying to get out of bed, so she could spring on her. She heard her huff and move around in her sheets instead.

Oh.

"Here we are," She said, walking in and setting the glass down, pouring her patient a drink and handing it to her.

"Do me a favor, please? Take this fucking thing _out_," She complained in a small voice, thanking her for the water and taking small sips of it. It was noticeably better than Francis's collection of tastes and Gilberts liking to the strongest drinks ever— and almost soothing to her raw throat.

"Language!" Lovina scolded, flipping her bangs out of her face and groaning. She untied her hair and scraped it back again, exasperated. "I told you we can't, you need it! We can see how things are when your blood comes back."

She set the cup down after slipping an ice cube into her mouth, crunching on it's smooth, cool surface for a bit. "This is stupid." She grumbled, pointing to the IV. "Just have me take tablets. Alternatively, even worse, liquids. Anything that's easier to sleep with than this thing." Antonia settled down, whimpering when she couldn't get the IV to trickle down right.

Lovina pulled out her serious face again. "It's the quickest way to get everything into your system. You were critical for a few moments last night."

Antonia seemed to tense at that, a rustling mess, as she tried to get a comfortable position. "Was I in the ICU?" She asked, biting her fingernail.

"We took you up but your heart rate regulated and we managed to control your blood loss," She explained, in the solemn bad-news tone she'd been practicing. It came out much too nervous.

"So what's my blood type?" She quizzed her, finally just deciding she'd rip the damn thing out to buy some alone time with Ms. Varhotgas. She didn't seem that bad. Just too into her work. "I've been dying to know— actually, just forget it, I don't care. Night!" Cue the shooing little motions with her hand, finally noticing; hey, she had a finger clamp thing on that's showing her pulse. Neat-o. Lovina huffed at her and walked back over to the door.

"There's a button on the bed remote if you need me, then..." She muttered, leaving. She was so rude after she had personally wiped the blood off the ungrateful bitch's face only hours ago…

She waited awhile, reaching over to get a box of cotton and a few strips of tape from the tabled beside her, just in case she started bleeding from the damn thing. She saw them do this all the time in movies, so it had to work, right?

She took a deep breath and promptly ripped it out. She nearly screamed- good lord, get that thing away! She slapped on the cotton, afraid of her own blood and the leftover saline dripping over her skin, and then taped it over.

Hopefully, they weren't tracking her heart-rate at the nurses' station. Ow.

Lovina had barely made it to the end of the corridor when there was a beep in her pocket, and without even bothering to check her pager, she headed to the nurse's station, reading over the screen quickly. Yes, room 324, Carriedo, being a nuisa—

Her heart rate was spiked and fell almost erratically. Panicking, Lovina gathered her papers and started towards the room again.

Act natural, act natural, you did not just bleed all over the sheets. Covering it up with the back of her elbow and turning over so you couldn't see her handiwork, she slammed her eyes shut and waited for something, hopefully those meds, to knock her out. All this for a fucking IV-

She banged the door open, rushing to the bed and gripping her patient by the shoulder, her own heart racing at the sight of the red stain on the white sheets.

"Antonia? Antonia, can you hear me?" Her voice broke, she couldn't let someone die, even if it had been Antonia's fault, the IV dripping onto the floor at this point, Lovina would get the blame, and she couldn't handle that again—

"Dr. Honey, I'm trying to sleep!" She moaned, turning back over to face her. "You just can't seem to leave me, can ya? Well, can't blame you, no lady can."

Lovina backed off and stared at her, open-mouthed, looking from her bleeding arm to the IV, going red for panicking and stammering. "I... What was the last thing I told you?" She hissed, grabbing a roll of linen and yanking Antonia's arm over to wrap up her new wound.

"Can't remember. Just let me sleep." Antonia sighed as her arm was jerked around, around, and around- "Don't eat yellow snow? Don't eat the hospital food? Something about eating,"

"That you need this!" She shrieked, holding up the IV again. "Because you could have died, or maybe that doesn't mean anything to you!" She wiped her face indignantly and threw the soiled IV into the container for used needles. "Maybe you don't give a shit, but I do! I'm trying my best!"

Antonia sat there, half-drunk and half caring for this stressed out woman with the sideways ponytail. She looked down and felt like her age had decreased by about seventeen years. "I'm sorry," She mumbled, truly guilty for actually trying to give this obviously new nurse hell. "I'll be good— "

"I don't care!" She interrupted, shrugging and sniffing and trying to look professional at the same time, which wasn't working out for her. "I don't care if you're nice to me or you care about my opinion at all but just...!" She threw her hands up, exasperated. "Have a little respect for someone who's trying to help you!" She shook her head and stormed out of the room to find a clean IV.

She sighed, dragging her phone back out. Facebook update.

_In the hospital ;((((( my nurse is rlly cute but has diz betchy attitude! Sleepin with IV is hrd... txt it!_

Ah, her old friend the supply closet. Lovina grit her teeth and found a new IV for her ungrateful, ignorant, pig-headed patient. What kind of bitch pissed off people who'd helped save their life? Determined not to let it get to her, she took a deep breath and made her way back to the room. No more sniveling or panicking. She would lay down the law.

She just managed to make a new status saying _'Like~ dis status if u h8 needles! ;((('_ before the red-faced nurse, intern, doctor, whatever she was, walked back in, looking pissed as her mother when she showed up late. She put down her phone and turned to face her, trying to look as apologetic as possible.

"Give me your phone," she demanded, holding out a hand, her tone steady and even.

Almost as if like a weeping puppy, she handed it to her, not even asking her to not look through it. She felt like she was back in high school, still getting in trouble with Gilbert and Francis.

Lovina put it down out of her reach, and slotted the IV into the bag beside the bed. "Give me your arm."

_"I'm sorry,"_ She whimpered out, handing it over to her. All the cuts and scratches down her arms reminded her where she stood in all this.

She let her eyes flicker to her face. Not so cocky, with her head wound bandaged, her face scratched, looking exhausted, and she seemed much more fragile than before. "Fast or slow?" sighed Lovina, taking her arm.

She shrugged, closing her eyes with her free hand and awaiting the mindless plucking of 'ooh sorry, I didn't get it in, fifteenth time's the charm, right? Aha!'

She slid the needle into her vein slowly and gently, and placed a piece of surgical tape over the free end to stop it from moving around. She stood up and checked the bag, before turning begrudgingly back to her patient. "Anything else I can do?"

"Give me a hug, please?" She mumbled, opening her arms as far as the IV and her muscles could allow her. This nurse was the closest thing to a mom she had, right now.

"Why should I?" She replied coldly, gathering up the plastic packaging and throwing it in the bin.

"Because I haven't had someone take care of me so much like this... ever." Antonia said, reaching for her water and taking a few sips, just to calm her nerves. "If I was sick when I was little... I had to fend for myself."

She watched her silently, not sure of what to say. She didn't want to back down, of course, because she was starting to hate this woman, but at the same time, she felt a rush of sympathy for her, cut up and bloodied and scared and... Well, alone, apparently. Lovina waited for her to continue.

She saw her nurse watching her so she took a gulp of the water and set it back down, rubbing her head. "My mom didn't really care for me, y'know, she was a single mother. Once I was born, my father left her and ran off, so I had to grow up by myself, since the only use she had was to yell at me for not getting good grades..." She chuckled, closing her eyes.

"Where is she?" asked Lovina more quietly, taking a seat beside the bed. "In Spain?"

"Spain, dead, jail... Hell if I care." Antonia snorted, resting her head on the papery pillow.

She breathed slowly and watched her setting her head down, feeling uncomfortable and inexperienced. "So what are you doing here?"

"Moved into a flat by myself, working by on a part-time modeling job, other than that I work retail," She smirked. "Honey, never work retail,"

"You're a model?" She asked, impressed. "Must feel fucking stupid for cutting up your face," She gave a little yawn and sat back in her chair. "I'd never do anything else, anyway," She sighed, looking at her scrubs and then up to the blinding white walls. "I've worked too hard already."

"No, no, I'm not." She laughed. "Barely… Foot models don't count, do they?" Antonia yawned, finally finding the best position in the world that kept her face supported and her IV still going. Nothing. Could. Ruin. This. Moment. "You should be checking on your other patients, shouldn't you?"

"Probably," The intern sighed, glancing to catch a glimpse of the elusive beautiful feet. Damn. _Covered._ She stood up and shrugged awkwardly, hugging her arms around herself. "Sorry for earlier," Lovina muttered, looking at her feet. "I was stressed."

"Wouldn't blame you, I'm not used to being babied like this." She laughed, and since she was taking so many looks at all sorts of feet, she slipped her foot out of the sheets, as if it were hot under the paper-thin covers. "Night," She hummed.

"There's the call button on y-" Bam. A sleek tanned ankle, smooth skin and perfectly kept toes. Lovina went quiet and opened her mouth a few times. "... Call button on your remote," She managed. "Night," She gave the foot a glance - _oh, God, that was good_ - and turned away.

* * *

><p>Editted from a roleplay with my dear friend Kate, or pilkopants on tumblr. c:<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

She shoved her feet back in the bed and sunk of into slumber, awakened periodically through the night for random pains, but as the morning came through the frosted glass window, she felt the need to call someone to close the god damned blinds. _Maybe_ she was allowed to get up and move today.

To get up and at least— pee, oh god, why was she not clicking the call button hard enough?

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!" snapped Lovina, opening the door and putting down a little paper cup full of tablets onto the bedside table. "What do you want?"

"I need to pee- can I use the crutches?" She nearly begged, tears flooding her eyes. She was already in a sitting position, too afraid to lean on her legs for support.

She groaned and hurried over to get them, sitting the crutches by Antonia's hands and holding an arm out for her to balance on if she needed. "Don't put any weight on your right leg," she warned.

Antonia slung herself on the crutches, landing on her left foot with ease. Ah. So easy; and her right leg was still playing around. Dear lord, she hoped her ass looked good, since the gown was peeking out. Hi, Lovina! Lovely morning we have here! "Thank you," She nearly moaned, finally getting to where she was needed.

Lovina stood outside the door for her, just in case. She had temporarily lost the use of two fingers, after all. Muttering under her breath, Lovina checked her watch. Just ten minutes and her shift would end. She could hold on that long. Probably.

She was done, washed her hands as best as she could with eight fingers and one leg, and limped right on out. "Did anything bad happened while I slept?" She asked, hovering around the room. Good lord, vertical positions felt so nice like this...

"Your friend woke up," she nodded, watching her hobbling to the window. "He was in a state about you being hurt, but he couldn't tell us anything either. And Gilbert's getting a cast put on his wrist."

"Ooh! I want to see this!" She laughed, nearly rocketing out of the room to see how they were doing. "What's their room numbers?"

"No, no, no..." Lovina pulled her back cautiously and stood between Antonia and the door, arms crossed. "They're both getting told off, just stay here until later."

"Aw, c'mon, honey, what are they getting yelled at for?" Antonia did a little spider-action, moving backwards with her crutches. She was on fire with these things!

"Gilbert wouldn't shut up about making you drive last night; you were all completely useless..." Well, Antonia was unconscious, but that was far from the point. "I was supposed to give you hell for the alcohol level in your blood..." She remembered awkwardly.

"That was because Gilbert decided to spike my already strong drink..." She rolled her eyes, finally getting some memory of that traumatic experience back.

Lovina gave her a harsh look again and crossed her arms. "You need to tell me all about these guys, they sound like bad news."

She shrugged, not caring on the matter. "Gilbert's just an old friend; we get in trouble a lot together, but Francis at least tones us down and he's our voice of reason... We're all connected! They're nice."

"He tones you down?" She snapped, putting a hand out to stop Antonia before she tried a one-handed crutch balance. "Sit on the bed."

"Yes, nurse..." She sat down with a plop, trying to get a wedge of hair out of her face. "Am I getting another IV?"

"We'll see how you are later, your blood came back fine... you're AB negative, since you were asking earlier. Very rare." She went to the charts clipped on the end to give them a final run-through. Everything seemed to be in order before she ended her shift. "I'll change your dressing and then someone else will take over," she informed her, and started fiddling with cotton pads.

"What?" She nearly demanded. "No. No, you got to stay with me." Antonia ordered her in her raw, scared voice. "Where are you going?"

"Home," she said simply, sitting on the bed, avoiding her wires and pushing her chin up gently to get a better look at her head, picking apart her bandage and taking it off slowly.

"Are you still going to be my night nurse?" Lovina did look tired; she'd have to stay up during the night and sleep all day so she could try and meet her. Last night obviously didn't go so well.

"Yes, stop moving around!" she hissed, taking a wipe to the sewn wound at her hairline and taking away the dried blood. "What do you care? They'll do the exact same as I do."

She straightened up, holding as still as possible. "No, no, they don't, you're so much nicer and cuter than the other ones...

"You've not had any other nurses," she sighed, pressing a new cotton pad to her head and applying a dressing over the top. "Stop being difficult,"

"Gilbert posted on his wall that his nurse was really big and mean and didn't treat him like an adult." She said matter-of-factly. "I think I'm the luckiest, Lovi."

"On his— it's Lovina, by the way— how did you see that?" she asked, frowning down at her.

"I saw it right before you took my phone away... I think." Antonia answered, ignoring her name comment easily.

"He probably wasn't acting like an adult," replied Lovina haughtily, taking a new wipe and dapping some of the bigger cuts on her face. "Do you need anything before I go?"

"My phone and a hug?" She asked, smiling in relief at the blood being wiped away with her gentle fingers. Antonia almost hated to see her go.

"You have a lot of bruising..." Lovina answered hesitantly, going a little pink and fishing her phone out of the drawer again. "I'm not going to give you a hug if it's going to hurt you."

"It won't! It won't!" She laughed, opening her arms. "I'm used to a lot of pain, don't worry!"

"C'mon, c'mon!" She hopped up on her crutches and got her nurse while she could, planting her face between her delicate neck. "Thank you for all your help... I'll see you tonight!"

"I don't—!" She was silenced at being crushed against the woman, both of them groggy and worse-for-wear. Lovina softened and brought her arm up carefully to pat Antonia's back.

Just as she shifted, there was an obnoxious wolf-whistle from the door, and Lovina jumped back. Gilbert smirked at the women and nodded to his friend. "She's a quick mover, isn't she?"

Antonia plopped back down on her bed, seeing, as she couldn't get to her albino friend from where Lovina was hovering. "Gil!" She cried, her hands touching her own cheeks with delight. "How's the old body, huh? Who was your nurse?"

"I don't know, some old bitch," The man shrugged, walking over to the bed and picking up a crutch—

"If you take that, I'll cripple you," warned Lovina, pointing a finger at him, her face burning from being caught. "Do you have any idea what you did to her? She could have killed all of you! You don't spike people's drinks!"

He raised his eyebrows and looked at Antonia. "Is this the one you were talking about?"

"She's cute isn't she?" Antonia laughed, trying to be on her best behavior for her nurse. "But next time, you're driving. I had to sleep with an IV! And I tried to pull it out and she caught me..."

"Yeah," He supposed, giving her a look-over. He thought she was somewhat plain, actually, but whatever. He scraped the chair over by his foot and sat down, pulling a marker pen out of his pocket and holding up his damaged wrist.

"I'm sorry, Toni. But, look! You can be the first person to sign my cast! I told them to leave it white so you could draw shit on it. Cool, right?"

Lovina cleared her throat loudly. "Excuse me! I was in the middle of dealing with my patient!"

Antonia gasped, nearly grabbing his wrist and signing it all big, but just enough room for others, then a little heart. "Sorry, Lovi, what else do you need?" She shoved Gilbert away from her with her feet, listening obediently to her spunky new friend.

"I..." Shit. She had nothing to do for they'd just been hugging. Gilbert was leering up at her, she wasn't even sure he knew he was smirking —it just seemed like his default expression. Arrogant bastard. "If you don't need anything else, I'll leave."

"Good, we're fine," He answered for Antonia, taking a spoon off the bedside table and using it to scratch inside his cast. Lovina looked at her patient again anyway, just in case.

She nodded, smiling at her and kicking her friend again. "I'm fine, don't worry. I'll be good!" Antonia piped. "Have a nice sleep-day!"

"Ow!" he complained loudly, going to slap her back and thinking better of it at the last second, huffing in his chair.

"Fine. Good." She nodded, fumbling with the hem of her scrubs, trying not to look at Gilbert, who she'd taken an instant dislike to, and turned to leave. "I'll see you tonight, then."

"_Hasta luego!"_ She cried out to her, once she realized she had left, turning back to grab her phone from the desk. "So, how's Francis? Is he still out?"

Lovina left without another word, slightly putout. She found her coat at the end of the corridor and pulled it on, giving a timid nod and a, 'good morning, sir' to the chief of her residency as he made his way upstairs. She hated that guy, too.

"Nah, he's awake," replied Gilbert, helping himself to a glass of Antonia's water. "But they changed his nurse because he was annoying the last one." He cackled at the thought of it. "He's getting broken in."

"Aah! That sounds like Francis!" She laughed, glaring at him for just a second for taking her water. At least she was able to see her friend, again. "The only bad thing I did was take out my IV- Which really hurts, don't do it —and apparently my heart rate spiked and Lovina was tracking it, and she found out I took it out really quickly... What about you?"

"Why did you need an IV?" he asked, narrowing his eyes, as if she was being purposefully dramatic.

"Something about eye drops in my blood to make up for the loss of it? I forget! It was really—" She was cut off by an angry blond haired man stomping past her room and to the nurse's station. "...Gil, you might want to go back to your room, there's a really mean looking guy out there..."

He frowned and turned around in the chair, leaning back as far as he could over the arm to try to see round the corner, which didn't work. He shrugged and started up the conversation again; mean looking people didn't bother him much. "Your nurse seems really..." He stopped himself at the sight of Antonia's expectant face, and rephrased. "Uptight."

"Aah, nah! She's just a stick in the mud until you wriggle her loose. She was probably just stressed because it was the end of her shift." Antonia reasoned, plucking her water from his hand.

"She didn't look stressed when I got here," he said, raising his eyebrows and putting his feet up on the bed, careful just to tap Antonia's arm so she spilt a little water on herself. "You both looked pretty comfortable to me."

"Well then _you_ got here! I had just loosened her up and then-" She scowled at the water on her apparently new gown, once again cut off by the blond man coming quickly towards her room. She hopped back into bed, dabbing her pink and green polka-dotted paper gown with the now sparkling clean sheets.

"Ms. Carriedo." The authority of residency nearly barked, slamming the door shut behind him as he checked over her charts, not even noticing the silver-haired man.

He held back a laugh and stretched over the back of the chair to watch the new nurse moving around. He kept his feet up on the sheets and fiddled with his cast, distracted by what was going on.

She didn't like him all ready. He didn't come in with his face all in tears, and he didn't look friendly or open for conversation. "Yes," She answered as professionally as possible.

"Unless your friend here is an intern, he needs to get out." Arthur wanted to just tap the end of the tipped chair back and send him flying out; but he was a patient, too... "Now," Antonia was dreading these moments, wishing desperately for the instant when Lovina would come back.

"I'm an intern," He nodded, craning up at him and grinning. "I was just helping Miss Carriedo after she spilled all her shit all over her. I think she's unstable." Gilbert smirked at Antonia, disregarding the man beside him.

"Gil, leave!" She hissed, shoving his feet off her bed. "Go make out with your Russian nurse or whatever!" Arthur was patiently waiting, at least. He had to be calm, forceful, and tender with these two.

The albino man got up and left, smirking and shrugging the whole way out back to his room without a word. Antonia looked up to the male nurse with apologetic eyes, only to be met with a gaze that cut through her heart and sorrow that made her slink back into the bed.

Antonia didn't love the hospital as much as she did when Lovina was around.

. 0 .

Lovina had had a long, lonely day of sleeping and studying, giving her grandpa a quick call, since it was all she could afford - he was still in Italy - and thinking about her impossible new patient. Her impossible, stubborn, irritating new patient with fantastic feet. She shook her head as she gave the door a tap to let Antonia know she was coming in, and walked into her room.

"I'm fine, leave me alone!" She called, her voice cracking in terror, before she snuck a peek. There, before her, in all her glory was her nurse. The right one. She nearly started crying, she was so relieved. "Oh, Lovina, thank God you're back!"

"What's the matter?" Se asked, picking up speed to check her over. "Are you hurt?"

"No! I'm fine! But the blond-haired bushy-browed man of Satan's _womb_ isn't!" cried Antonia, clutching the woman towards her. "He is so rude and so mean and so- God, his hands are just so-" She made all of these gestures that made her IV containing her pain meds flap around like wings.

"Hey, hey!" She scolded, grabbing her hands carefully. "Stop that, you'll pull it out again... do you mean Dr. Kirkland?"

"I mean Doctor Kirk-Fuck!" Antonia met her eyes, shaking her head. Days were horrible but nights were her salvation. "He's so mean..."

"He's a professional, Antonia, and very good at his job!" She replied, as a reflex. "Don't talk about him like that..."

"He's not as gentle as you are, I don't like it, Lovi." She mumbled, relaxing back into her bed.

"Don't say things like that!" Lovina hushed her, looking at the door, just in case. "What if he heard you say that? I don't need him hating me!"

"He didn't say anything bad about you, so you're fine," She itched at her scratches, looking her nurse over. She was still great looking, needed to lose the ponytail.

"... Really?" She asked, seeming genuinely surprised. She thought he had it out for her. "He didn't say anything about your IV?"

"He said it was fine, but he '_fixed'_ it and made it worse." She grumbled, holding it out for her to look. It just hurt and was distracting now...

Lovina looked at her and groaned. "Antonia, if he says its okay, I can't change it..."

"He's such a prick! And, your hair looks like you slept in it. Here." She sat up, pointing to the doctor's stool sitting around. "Sit on there and come here; I'm going to fix it."

"I have a lot of work to do!" She snapped, taking a hand up to her hair and running her fingers through it. "... What's wrong with it?"

"You need to lose the ponytail, just c'mon, it'll take five seconds." She yawned, clapping her hands. It would be harder with the pulse tracker but she could get it,

"Look, Antonia, I have other patients to see..." She started, taking a seat and taking the band out of her hair. "Be quick. I mean like, as fast as you can, I'm serious."

"Ah, who else do you have to see?" She asked, starting a fishtail, but realizing that was the ugliest thing in Lovina's hair once she mapped it out- so, she tried a regular old French braid, something Francis would be proud of. "It's so thick, what do you use or are you just... Are you Spanish, too?"

"I'm Italian," She told her, very slightly offended, and she didn't quite know why. "A guy was in a house fire last week, I have to check his bandages," The timid intern explained, trying not to shiver. She really got the creeps from the sight of burns.

"That it?" She snorted, as if she could do better. "Oh, oh, I love Italians then, because your hair is marvelous," She mumbled, plucking the hair tie from her friend's hand and tying it all together. Sloppy from the big grey clamp on her finger, but better than her usual ponytail.

"That and a woman with a growth on her foot, a guy who's going blind, another with a damn STD who came in twenty minutes ago..." She stood up and went to go to the mirror in the little bathroom. "And we think the young guy who came in last week has cancer," She added quietly.

She was more depressed from the foot growth woman, and quickly checked to make sure nothing had cut up her feet or if there were little pus bubbles and— she gagged, quickly reaching for her glass of water.

Lovina only glanced at the mirror, pretending to be interested. "Great. Thanks. Much better. Anything else?"

"It would be better if you could see it!" She huffed, slamming her water down before anything came up. "Fine. Go. Be sure to trip Caterpillar-Eyebrow Man."

"Sorry, will I just waste all my time with you, braiding each other's hair?" She asked sarcastically, crossing her arms and glaring. "Or will I go and do my job?"

"You probably can't braid for shit— just go, honey! I'll be right here. Watching... football," She pointed to the cheap, old TV sitting up in the corner, hanging on the ceiling. "Have fun."

"Thank you," she cooed bitterly, walking out and closing the door loudly. What an absolute nightmare, as if she didn't have enough on her plate.

Antonia couldn't help but sit and wait. It was boring, since these two teams were so bad it was giving her headaches. In addition, the pain med dripping into her system were making her so sleepy. With nothing else to do, she just rested her head against the pillow, grateful that when the tyrant left he dimmed her lights down to a yellowish brown. Ah, this was all so cozy... It really did not compare to the constant feeling of walking-on-egg-shells by living with her mother….


	3. Chapter 3

Lovina stood outside the door, taking deep, slow breaths in and out and pressing the ball of her palm to her eyes. Another day, another breakdown. When she was quite satisfied that her breathing seemed normal, she knocked on Antonia's door and walked in, a little putout to find her asleep.

Antonia jolted awake from the slight shut of the door. God, how long had she been out, it felt like she had been stuck in cryogenics.

"Hi," started Lovina softly, out of habit. She knew how difficult patients could get just after they'd been woken up. "Just here to check on you," she lied.

"Hi, Lovi," She smiled softly, and then rested her head back. "I didn't mean to pass out, since I wanted to stay up to talk to you, but it just..." She smirked, unable to finish. How pathetic.

"You need rest," She nodded, understanding, and taking the seat beside the bed. She sat hunched over, wrapping her arms around herself, and failed to cover a little sniffle. "I'm on my break," Lovina told her matter-of-factly. "If you have any questions or concerns or..." She shrugged. "You just want to talk."

She looked over to her dinner, which had been sat on her tray across from her. Not looking so good, she'd just skip it and see if she could sneak off to a vending machine. "What's the reason why you're sniffling again?" She asked, patting her back. Lovina was always coming in here sobbing, yelling, or bawling.

"I'm not!" She protested feebly, picking at her nails. "Just eat your dinner."

"No way, the meat taste like cardboard." She plucked the still steamy lid from the tray, looking at the innocent looking food that really tasted all like medicine. She was rather positive they snuck vitamins and meds in her meals. "I'll eat later."

"Antonia, please," She pressed, slightly harsher. "You have to eat and drink like normal, I won't tell you again."

"I'm drinking normally, honey," She mumbled, placing the lid back on the meatloaf and shoving it aside. "I have a small stomach—" She looked at Lovina's bag of Tupperware items full of food. She was never much of a beggar.

Lovina stared at her, watching her watch the food, then looked to her dinner and sighed. "Fine," she huffed, pushing it over. "Eat that instead, you can't starve."

"No, no, share with me." She smirked. They'd have dinner together. She'd have to post on her wall all about her fake first date. "It's yours, anyway."

"I'm not hungry," She muttered, pushing the bag over and pulling her feet onto the chair, resting her chin on her knees.

"Lovina, please," She imitated, her voice going up an octave. "You have to eat and drink like normal, I won't tell you again!"

"You're not funny." She scowled and snatched a roll out of the bag, but threw the rest back over.

Now she felt guilty. She stole her food. Antonia huffed, throwing her food back and moving to get out of the bed. She'd just buy a ham and cheese roll from the vending machine down the hall. She needed to get up and walk anyway. "Want to help and old woman down the hall?" She asked sweetly.

"Why? Just eat that, I'm not going to!" She snapped, frowning at her. Lovina grimaced and sighed, standing up to help her awkwardly. "Sorry. I'll come with you, of course."

"Don't apologize, Lovina, I'm fine." Now things were awkward. What a horrible failed attempt at a first date. Francis would die. Grabbing her purse, she thanked her friend and swung the door open with her crutch leg, looking smugly at her friend for approval.

"That's to help you walk, not to open doors..." She muttered, holding it back for her to walk through. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"It's like I could play Tiny Tim on these things! I'm a natural!" It didn't really occur to her that being a natural on crutches was a bad thing; she took it as more of an advantage over some of the other patients.

_"God bless us, everyone..."_ She murmured sarcastically, looking up at the thin string of poor tinsel that had been recently stuck on the wall, and yawned. "Do you have plans for Christmas?" She asked, just to make conversation.

"Um, no… I've never actually celebrated Christmas?" She chuckled, reaching the vending machine with ease. Most of the goodies had been cleared out- aside for one or two rolls that was the size of her face and came with a small bag of crisps. "Oh, baby, get in my belly." She whispered under her breath, fishing out a few pounds to shove in.

"Never?" Lovina asked, surprised. She wasn't from a huge family, but they had always made a big deal out of it.

Antonia turned around, plucking her change from the machine and grabbing her food. "Never ever," She replied, shrugging. "A Christmas card, maybe. But no tree, lights, or decorations,"

Oh. That was somewhat sad, thought Lovina, nodding and turning to walk back to her room, holding a hand out in case she needed support. She had been to busy to celebrate alone, and the few years before she moved, neither she nor her grandfather had much spirit to celebrate, but when she was a kid, everything had to be perfect. Everything.

"Do you wish you did?"

She smirked. "Kind of… I always watched as my friends got to have perfect Christmases with their families, and meanwhile my family was sitting on a recliner watching TV specials without a plan to get up." She answered, pivoting on her crutches when she walked past her cozy little nook of a room.

Lovina shook her head as she pirouetted back into her room and over to her bed. "You want to be out of here by Christmas anyway, right?"

"It's a lot brighter and comfier than my home, personally. I live alone with my turtle, Charlotte." She mumbled. She hopped back into bed, leaving her crutches at a reachable distance. "Oh my— do you see this? Do you see how _huge_ it is?" Antonia giggled, delighted with her little find.

She took up her perch again and opened her little Tupperware box of tomato pasta, as Antonia had managed to find food of her own. "Charlotte's a weird name for a turtle," Lovina muttered through a mouth full.

"She's elegant!" She laughed. "What, do you have any pets?" Antonia looked at her pasta as she sunk her teeth into the rather 'orgasmic' (as Gil would have said, Antonia had not had the option to have sex yet) roll. She hated pasta with a passion, so she was thankful for not being encouraged to eat that. The tomato sauce looked inviting, though.

"Nope," She said, not looking up from her meal, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Just me. I had a dog, but he's at home in Italy."

"Aw? What kind? What's his name?" She asked, trying not to stuff her face. This didn't taste at all like pills ground up and stuck in mashed potatoes, oh god no. It tasted like actual food.

"I don't know, he's a real mutt... kind of small and grubby. His name's Cucciolo," She told her, eyeing her totally devouring the roll. Classy.

"Cucciolo..." She hid her mouth, embarrassed by her eyes. "Do you have pictures?" Antonia asked, setting down the 3/4 of the roll remaining.

"Uh..." She went pink and dug her wallet out of her pocket, flashing it quickly at Antonia. "That's me, that's him... that's my family... y'know, stuff..." She folded it back over and threw it on the bed, going back to her dinner. "Just photos,"

Antonia leaned over to catch it, flipping it open. "Age 23, sexy." She purred, flipping open her photos. There was a little white puppy with a strip of leather and a yarn tassel in his mouth and all over his face, a picture of smaller Lovina with her hair as lovely as ever; and a nice looking brother and... Grandfather? He looked damn young. "He's so cute..." She mumbled, biting her finger, flipping back to the picture of her dog.

"Who? Feli?" She asked tensely, leaning forward. "Yeah. It's not important, give me it back..."

"No, no, the dog," She laughed. "Your brother's kind of above average looking? I'd pick you over him any day." She handed it over, barely watching the sitcom on her TV from the 90's. She wasn't as in to men as normal girls.

Lovina snatched it out of her hand. No one called her little brother average anything. Feliciano was wonderful. She felt her face burning and her breath speeding up again, so she pushed it to the back of her mind, shoving the wallet back into her pocket.

Antonia looked at her leg, then back to her untouched feet. "Do you think I'll have to have surgery on this?" She asked, stroking her right leg.

She nodded, staring at the TV, not up for conversation anymore. "You've torn your ligaments."

"Am I going to have to be awake?" Antonia didn't want her to say yes, for she knew she couldn't go on if she did.

"You don't have to be," she muttered, picking up her food again, but not eating it. She's lost her appetite.

"I don't want to be, but can you do something for me when I do have to go to sleep?" She asked, guiltily turning towards her. "Could you... um... stay with me until I go under?"

She shrugged, still not looking at her, aching slightly to leave again for a peaceful cry. "Sure. Why not?"

Antonia smiled softly and sat back, finally relaxed. "Thanks, it's just— It gets cold and lonely when someone isn't there... waiting, y'know."

"No, you need someone to sit beside you, I get it," she answered, glancing back over. "It's fine."

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, dropping her attention from the sitcom to her.

Lovina looked up at her, wetting her lips to buy herself a few more moments. "Of course," she answered under her breath.

Antonia nodded, crossing her legs inward and playing with the hem on the blankets. "If you want to tell me anything, you can y'know... A concussion adds a lot of memory loss, so you're basically talking to a trash bin."

She scoffed and picked at her nails. "That's comforting."

This was just getting rude. She huffed, plucking her phone from the table. If she wanted to be like that, she could, she was only spending the night with her. Only.

Lovina went on like that for a while, until she was starting to become as upset with the silence as the thought was preying on her mind. "The guy downstairs," She started quietly, biting her nail and looking at her lap. "He did have cancer. I had to tell his family." She sighed shakily and put her hands together. "It's the first time I've done that."

"They just looked at me, said thank you... they didn't know how to react... he's only eighteen..." Her breath shuddered and she shook her head. "Same age as Feli was when he..." her voice broke and she put her hands to her head, at a loss. "I don't know if I can do it..."

Antonia stiffly swung her legs over the bed and kneeled on the floor, nearly hissing at the pain in her right leg but keeping on. "Hey, hey, hey, shh... shh..."

"D-Don't...!" She tried to scold, wiping her eyes furiously. "Get back in bed, now!"

She nearly laughed. "You're the one in pain, here," She said in the softest voice she could manage.

"Get off the floor," Lovina managed to mutter, standing up shakily and pulling Antonia to her feet, hopping with her to the bed and wiping her face with the back of her hand. "There..." she breathed uneasily.

"Hey, hey," She protested, clutching onto her so she didn't run off to the bathroom to cry all over herself. "Just sit down and let it all out. Call me 'La Basura' if you want." She tugged Lovina over beside her and sat on the chair, wincing at the pain in her legs from tangoing around.

Lovina hugged herself, not even sure where to begin. "I... when he was sick, I would help Feliciano a-and get his medicine and take his blood tests... and sometimes he was better and it was worth it and I wanted to do that... I wanted to do that for other people, s-so I sat all my tests and everything was set for me to come here, but then he..." Her shoulders trembled and she shook her head, leaning towards Antonia. "After he..." She took a breath and decided to rush. "After Feli died, it wasn't worth it anymore... I didn't want to tell people their kid was dying; I wanted to tell them that I had made them better... I can't... "

Antonia paled to a ghastly white. She sat there with her hands hovering about Lovina's arms, she remembered how she said 'Man, I'd chose you over him any day,', and wanted to apologize. She felt it was somehow her fault for picking her... Her fingers finally clasped around the weeping woman. Antonia's mouth was trembling open, her eyes filling with tears as he only friend here shook like a maple tree in a cold, winter storm. "A..." She closed her mouth and opened it again, ready. "Are you sure you're capable of being a nurse, honey...?"

"Yes!" she snapped, pushing herself away. "They said he had months, and he was twelve then! He made it to eighteen; I must have done something right!"

"Yes, yes!" She encouraged, reaching in to move a strand of hair from her face. "Yes, Lovina, you helped him the best you could. He got to grow up, and beat the odds."

"I thought it had gone," she whispered, moving her head to Antonia's hand. "I... I thought I'd made him better..."

Antonia stroked her cheek, murmuring comforting words to her neck. "I know you did... but the world is full of surprises..."

Lovina shuddered and took a few moments to stop crying, breathing shakily in through her nose and out through her mouth. "I know I s-still want to do this," she said with quiet determination. "But everything reminds me of it and..." She trailed off. Working in a hospital and trying not to think of Feli was like having a stone in her shoe - she never let herself give it her full attention, but it was constantly niggling at her.

Her eyes wandered from Lovina's braid falling out to her pager, which was beeping profusely. She nearly wanted to throw it in her jug of water just to shut it up. "I know, I know, honey." She cooed, picking up the pager and noticing her name on it as it scrolled past, something about her- One she saw the 'Operation' word she chucked it on the bed, scowling. Nope.

Lovina scowled at her and slapped her hand, picking up the pager and reading it over. "Uh..." She cleared her throat and took a moment to get back to her usual tone. "Your operation is scheduled for tomorrow at four..."

She leaned forward in the chair, into Lovina's lap. "I don't want to..." Antonia whimpered, her childish tone biting at her words. "Wait! It's tomorrow; in the day time…" She panicked, snapping out of her lap. "I- I can't do this alone—"

"Stop being a baby," she tutted, pressing the edge of Antonia's dressing back onto her head - it had been unfixed by all her slumping and snapping. "You'll be fine, I promise."

"No!" She whined, wanting to get up and run off so she never had to go through all the medications and antiseptics to knock her out for it. "I'd rather just walk around on one foot then get the operation." Antonia didn't mean this of course, her expression showed it. At least this doctor's stool was moveable. She could wheel for it.

Lovina crouched to look her in the eye, and, still a little teary, pulled a straight, serious face. "Look, all that's going to happen is you get a few jags, put a mask on and count to ten. You can do that, can't you?"

"No." She answered before the question ever came out of her mouth. Antonia wiped her eyes with her thumb, trying to help her cheer up a little.

She pulled back and sighed, pursing her lip in thought. "If it's that bad, I can come in early..."

Antonia launched off on her chair with her good leg towards the door to close it just for a spell. "You would do that?"

Lovina pulled a face when she turned round, but nodded. "I said I would."

"Ah! Lovina thank God, I was really worried!" She smiled in relief, launching back over to the bedside and knocking into her bedside tray. Whoops.

"Stop that!" She stood up and put her foot at the wheel of the seat to make it brake. "You can't eat anything else after your roll, and you need a lot of sleep. I won't be happy if I get back and you've been giving everyone hell."

"How?" She laughed, placing her foot on Lovina's. God, she was exhausted, but this girl was just too fun and adorable to stop talking.

She frowned. "You don't take out your IV. If you're told to take your medicine, you take it. If you're told to hand your phone over, you hand it over. You don't eat or stand up without your crutches again. Are we clear?"

"Oh. Like this?" She stood up from the stool with her right leg safely limping up in the air. "And I learned from the IV accident... now it just hurts."

"Antonia, stop it, you'll fall!" She snapped, standing up and putting her hands out, trying not to touch her in case she knocked her off balance. "Sit down on the bed, now!"

"I'm a foot model, Lovina! I have perfect balance, but fine— if you insist." She smirked, plopping back into her bed.

"Stop trying to piss me off, you're pushing your luck!" She huffed, picking up her box and her bottle of water and putting them back in her bag, half-finished.

Antonia finally decided, maybe she didn't like all this teasing, and sat back on the bed, nestling under her sheets, smiling peacefully at her nurse. "I wasn't trying, I really wasn't."

"You're a natural," she muttered, slinging her bag over her shoulder and checking the time. "Do you need anything else?"

"A hug," She teased. Antonia always asked for one, but to her knowledge she had never gotten one.

Lovina sighed and glanced at her patient, then to the door. "Antonia..."

Antonia rolled her eyes. "I keep asking politely, like a good patient. If I get a hug I promise not to be bad."

She hesitated, frowning, and then made her way over, sitting on the bed and holding her arms out. "Make it quick. And be careful."

"Yay," She sang, smiling a joy filled grin, refusing to worry about her arms as she bear hugged her nurse, burying her head in the crook of her curving neck.

Wrapping her arms around her waist carefully, Lovina relaxed into Antonia, chewing at her lip. "Thank you," she muttered quietly.

"Thank you more, Lovina," She squeezed her once and let her go, satisfied to be good for the rest of the night. "Go check on your other patients then; go, _go_,"

She nodded, keeping her hands by Antonia's sides, and going pink. "Can you... not tell anyone?" she pressed awkwardly.

"Not even Facebook?" She gasped, raising a hand to her cheek in false shock.

"No! Not even Facebook!" She spat, taking her seriously, with panic across her face.

"Okay, okay, fine! My lips are sealed." She gave her an innocent kiss on the cheek, as they did when leaving someone in Spain... sometimes.

Feeling more breathless than would have been appropriate, Lovina rushed to put her bag back in her locker and distract herself by getting on with her shift.

Antonia watched her go with a strange feeling she hadn't ever felt in her chest before. It felt warm, and big, even though she was afraid to see her go. She sat back in the bed, feeling not guilt, or sorrow, but… safe. Like she knew someone would be waiting for her when she woke up. It wasn't going to be that bad.

Everything was going to be just fine. She could pride herself with that thought.


	4. Chapter 4

The doctors were closing in on her. Well, that wasn't entirely true... There was a nurse by her side, a different one, who seemed more worried about messing up her needlepoints than that monstrosity of hair on her head. They were about to prepare her for her big operation on her leg and Lovina was nowhere to be seen.

Shit, she was late. So late, it was almost ten to four... she had overslept and had to run to the library on her way to the hospital. She burst into the corridor of Antonia's floor with her bag thumping on her back, filled with medical journals and other extremely heavy books, her hair thrown in a messy up do, wearing an old sweater. Lovina stopped caring about what she looked like years ago; she had just come to terms with feeling shit about her appearance and focusing on other things.

Antonia's heart warmed noticeably when her lovely friend Lovina pounced through the door, her half-fucked up pony-bun thing bouncing behind her. Still, she looked tired and sleep-deprived. This must have been the first time she'd seen sunlight since she got the job, the way she was carrying those books.

"Hey, you. Did you come to study with me?" Antonia smiled at her, patting the chair for visitors since her doctor was trying to help her stretch out her leg for her operation. She kept the thing limped for the past few days. Which apparently was a bad thing? It hurt too much to shove it straight. Luckily, Lovina was there for it. She was a bawling mess, but had pulled herself together for the woman in the doorway.

"Sorry," She muttered, dumping her things in the corner and going over to sit in the chair, breathing heavily. "I was busy."

She shrugged, wincing at how he stretched her out one final time and put a brace on her knee to keep it straight. "I don't mind. As long as you help me out here, I'm just really nervous. I can try and help you out with your homework."

"No, no..." Lovina insisted, tutting as a lock of her hair fell into her face. She tucked it behind her ear and pulled the chair closer to the bed, watching Antonia's face as she winced. "What can I do?"

The doctor patted her bed and told her he had it under control and promptly left, telling the nurse to start giving her the sedatives. "Ooh, nothing much, I guess, just try to calm me down. They've been feeding me pills; I think I might vomit from all of them, _aha_,"

"Try not to," She started, feeling inexperienced, and now that she had her breath back she realized she had nothing to say. Usually she would just talk about nothing that had always seemed to work before. "I have New Year's Eve off this year," she offered, making eye contact with Antonia so she didn't have to look at the needle. "Do you celebrate New Year?"

Antonia was thankful for her eyes holding hers, that needle really was longer than it should be. "Um, I just get drunk alone, usually." Cue the horrible look from the mouse-like nurse above her. She shrugged with one shoulder, so she wouldn't snap the needle off in her arm.

Lovina took a quick glance around. Everything in order. She turned back to Antonia and smirked. "That doesn't surprise me."

"If you haven't noticed, I get dragged to drinking parties a lot," She smiled, nestling up in her covers for warmth. She had finally gotten a shower last night. Although, it was more of a bath, because she had to sit down the entire time, but at least her hair was finally curling back to its healthy ways, if not a little limping. "Francis says I'm fun to drink with. Whatever that means,"

She just nodded and hummed, not wanting to get into that line of conversation. She noticed the nurse line up the needle with Antonia's vein and realized she had to keep talking. "So is that what you'll do this year?"

"Drink? No, not after this mishap." She laughed, hardly noticing the needles, now. Just small prods were all she felt. "I'm thinking I'll turn over a new leaf." In addition, drop the job in retail and get one in the medical wing— Of course, she was joking, although it'd be fun to stab people with needles from time to time.

She was still joking.

"Ah." Lovina forced a smile and overplayed the sage nod. "Very wise,"

"Why are you forcing your happiness on me?" Antonia giggled, not daring to look over her shoulder. "Its fine, I'm used to all these stabbings now."

She paused, taken aback, frowning very slightly. "I'm trying to calm you down. Like you asked," Ungrateful bitch.

She was only making her nervous. "Really? Well, thanks," Lovina couldn't force a smile without looking like a creepy doll. "But you should just be yourself. For some reason that calms me down even more,"

Lovina raised her eyebrows and sighed. "Fine. Fine, I'll be pissed off and tired, is that better?"

"Yeah," She managed a smile, hearing the sounds of what seemed to be a gas tank. The smile vanished just as quickly as it appeared, and she was suddenly trying to clutch for her friend's hand. "She's done injecting, right?"

She nodded and offered her hand over, all of her venom gone as soon as she had found it. "It'll be okay, I promised."

"Just answer my question, what's happening next?" She nearly demanded, hiding under her sheets and poking out her face so she could see her nurse.

"They're going to put the mask on..." she told her, giving her the look a mother gives an unruly child and edging the sheets off of her. " You can do it."

Shaking her head, but obeying when the other nurse edged her bed up so she could place the mask on her face. "How long does it take?" Antonia asked quickly, afraid by the noises the mask was making, like a dragon breathing in her face with the threat to kill her at a moment's notice.

Lovina took a deep breath; she had always hated doing this, being the calm one in a crisis. "We'll count to ten together, okay?"

"One," She whispered, barely noticing the nurse stalking off to leave them alone. "Two..."

She gave another hurried sigh and pressed on, rubbing little circles in Antonia's knuckles with her thumb. "Three..." she continued strongly, softening when Antonia glanced over at her. " I'm here, okay?"

Nodding was all she could do, now. Her brain was slowing to the speed of molasses. Her eyes were softening downwards, and everything was fizzing out as if someone had put out the flame of her motivation, and the last pieces of flame were flickering away. She hadn't even made it to four. "Te amo," She whispered out, just as she slipped under the gas, quite positive her words were hushed by the loud hum of air traveling through her mask.

"Five..." choked Lovina, just in case she was still there, just about to go. She squeezed Antonia's hand, surprised by the strength of feeling in her - she wanted her well, she wanted her happy and awake as soon as possible... she wasn't really sure what to make of that, or what to say, so she stroked her patients soft hair from her face gently. "I'm here," she repeated quietly. Just in case.

. 0 .

Antonia's eyes were all lazy and glossy, she could tell from the way the doctors looked at her as she came out of her stupor that she probably looked like an infant about to cry. She slumped over the bed, trying to look for her gorgeous, cute little friend Lovina. No such luck, unless Lovina was hiding under the bed.

Lovina balanced the tray carefully, being sure not to spill any of the ice water. There was another ham roll, some chocolate, and a little bunch of grapes.

Hey, it wasn't what it looked like; it was part of her duty to bring a patient's meal after an operation, if they were willing. Antonia should have been awake about an hour ago, so she edged backwards into the room, expecting her bright-eyed and ready.

Well, now the white-coated blurs were moving out and Antonia was edging back to the bed. Her head felt like it weighed two tons, and her legs were just numb and twitching. She heard the door opening and closing a few times, afraid of seeing Gilbert or Francis waiting to play with her and her drug-induced thinking.

Watching with concern as Antonia blinked around blearily, she edged closer to the bed, and Lovina set the tray down and took the seat. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Did they knock out one of my eyeballs?" Who was even talking to her- "I can't see... clearly, y'know?"

"Keep blinking," Lovina told her firmly, edging forward in her seat and holding up her index and middle finger. "Can you see that? How many?"

"Lovi," She nearly whined, blinking and rubbing her eyes. "You're holding up two, I'm not blind."

"I was just checking!" she tutted, rolling her eyes. "Do you feel okay?"

Antonia shook her head. She felt like a bowl of cold oatmeal. Obsolete and just gross all around. "I don't know, I'm sleepy but I can't sleep..."

"You've been asleep for hours..." She told her, standing up and lifting the sheet over her leg and immediately drawing back, shocked. "Oh, God, they were right..."

She hummed, arching up to look. "What's the scar like?" Photoshop was a magical thing, and she was positive her managers wouldn't care. She was the best looking, feet wise, at least.

"Antonia," she started, looking up with quiet panic on her face, but she couldn't keep her resolve for long. "They've amputated your toe." Her face broke into a grin, not even able to joke. Damn, that might have been funny for a minute.

"No they-" She snapped forward, bending down to feel her little toes. There were one, two, three, four, five toes- on each foot! "You _liar_!" She shouted, her voice slurring wildly. "You know how much I need these!"

She laughed and went back up to the top of the bed, putting out her hands to plead innocence. "Calm down, it was a joke. You're so sensitive."

She moved her foot so Lovina could stare at it all night if she wanted to, just to be guilty. "These things are the only thing I'm sensitive about, Lovi." She mumbled, ignoring her hands and pumping some lotion into her hands, rubbing her toes and heels.

Lovina watched for a moment, transfixed... she shook her head quickly and looked at Antonia's face. "What kind of things do you model for?"

"Foot crèmes, rarely… But I pose for shoes and other designers." She smiled shyly. "It pays rent."

Paying rent by being nice to look at. Lovina was a little ashamed at the ripple of jealousy she felt, but she did feel somewhat entitled - she hadn't had more than a day off for the best part of a year. "That's good," she replied, without much else to say.

Antonia nearly attacked the tray of food once her eyes adjusted back. "Lovi, you have wonderful eyes, y'know?" She smiled, easily edging it towards her, inspecting all of the delicious foods in front of her. She didn't even think about how they might have been drugged. It didn't matter.

Lovina watched her quietly. She was obviously still over-tired. "No I don't, eat your meal..."

She plucked a grape from the bunch and almost moaned as its skin broke away. "They are, they are, I just love them,"

"You're on a lot of drugs," Lovina said flatly, watching her eat. "You're speaking total shit. I'll remind you tomorrow and it'll be embarrassing." Ha.

"But I mean all of it. Go ask my friends, they'll say I'm an honest druggie." She didn't realize she ran out of her rare-showing items like the grapes and the fun-sized little chocolate bar until she was halfway done with her roll. "Where did you get this stuff? Did you smuggle it?"

Lovina opened her mouth to speak, thought better of it, and nodded. "Yup. From home." Ignorance is bliss, as they say...

"You're going to get in trouble!" She teased, laughing. That funny metallic, powdery taste was filling her mouth. Must have been from the operation.

"Not if you don't tell," She answered, with a fake plea to her voice. "How are things with Doctor Kirkland? Have you seen him again?"

"Don't even mention him," Antonia's mood seemed to take a one eighty turn for the worse, finishing her roll and taking a sip of water to wash down that gross powder. "Such a dick. He woke me up yesterday because he said all I do is sleep. And he must of injected me with something because I couldn't go back to sleep for hours and let me tell you_; The Price Is Right_ via American Broadcast is not fun three times back to back."

"He's doing his job, don't be ungrateful," Lovina told her off.

"He's bad at it." She placed the spotless tray back on her table, leaning back. "Thank you so much, honey, I loved it."

"He isn't," She argued feebly, just for the sake of good practice. She didn't actually dislike the guy, he put in a full shift and knew a lot, but damn if she wasn't at least a little scared of him. "And that was a one-off; you have to start eating the food they bring you, okay? Promise me."

"But they sneak drugs in it. Why do they sneak drugs in my food if I can just take it myself?" She pouted. Antonia didn't even want to think about the gross doctor who insisted she stay awake for no fucking reason.

"Because it's easier than having to set you a meal time and a time to be given your pills, there's only so much time I can spend with you—" ranted Lovina, realizing she had actually whittled away quite a chunk of her shift shooting the breeze. She stood up, patting down her scrubs. "I should go."

"They should at least tell me they're giving my meds through my ham rolls or whatever." She scoffed, stopping when Lovina bolted up. "Why?" Antonia was disappointed. She never was able to spend time with her. Ever. She was either asleep or some person was getting her attention or she was studying— She looked over to Lovina's large stack of books.

"Because I have a lot to do!" She snapped, frustrated and over-tired. "You're not my only patient! I only have a few hours left, I'll come back then."

"Fine!" She picked up a camera lying next to the pile of books and turned it on. What kind of pictures could she be taking at work? Silly Lovina…

... Was that her leg open in the middle of an operation?

Lovina stormed out, giving her hands a quick rub from the antiseptic pump on the wall and walking down past the nurses' station to pick up some paper work- she stopped dead, whipping round to check the beeping monitor. With a growl, she slammed her papers back down and started up the corridor again.

She was huddled up, the camera still on and sitting on the floor, balancing on the lens.

S-She couldn't take her eyes _off_ the thing. All open, the _bone_ showing completely. Antonia felt a rush of panic when she looked down to her leg, where the large set of staples and stitches stood. That happened hours ago. She was asleep the whole time. Her heart was pounding like an angry man's fist on a door. She couldn't look away. Oh my god—

The door banged open and Lovina hurried back in. She looked from Antonia's pale face to her own feet and saw her camera, laying, lens-down. She had paid a lot for that! She took and held it up to Antonia, glaring at her. "Why were you going through my things?"

"I was just wondering what you were doing with a camera in a hospital—" She whispered, hiding her eyes from the image. Luckily, she didn't even break the damn thing. There were more pictures of open leg surgeries to be made.

"You know, just me and the girls, there's a really nice one of this guy in radiology!" She spat sarcastically. "What do you think I use it for? In fact, that doesn't even matter, why were you touching it?"

She tried answering, but just gave up from the terror in her lungs. Antonia hid her face and vision from the hospital room, Lovina, and most importantly, her leg.

Lovina watched her, panicking when she hid her face. She could barely bring herself to calm down and talk more quietly, but she managed it. Slightly. "Antonia," She didn't respond. "Antonia!"

She shook her head, pushing her away. Legs weren't supposed to look like that. She could have gone her whole life without looking at her operation photos.

Lovina flipped the camera over and looked more carefully at the photo. Okay, she could she how it was unsettling, but everything out there was sealed inside Antonia's leg anyway. She didn't see the big difference in having it out at the open air. "Antonia..." she started, slightly more calmly, sitting down beside the bed. "Look at me... it's sewn up now, in a few weeks you'll barely be able to tell."

She shook her head, peeking a wide, panicked green eye to her companion. "I-I'm not a rag doll..." She coughed, moving her hands away from her face. "Lovina, what in God's name did they do?" She hadn't realized she was raising her voice until its remnants echoed in the room and into the bathroom.

"Look..." She started, after a slightly frightened pause, holding up the camera again to use it as a guide. She quickly pulled it back when Antonia screwed her eyes shut. "Okay... well, your ligaments are what hold your muscles together, and yours were torn. The surgeons get to your muscle and graft tissue to it... that's all," she said simply and calmly.

"What tissue- where are they getting the tissue from? Boxes?" She asked quickly, looking through her fingers to make sure the camera was gone.

"People donate their musculoskeletal tissue for operations like this..." She muttered, not sure whether that would make it better or not.

Antonia played with her fingers to distract from the gaze of her nurse. "From people who are alive or...?"

Lovina hesitated for a long moment and breathed out slowly. _"... well, live people still need their tissue..."_

Once Antonia's mind forced itself to make the connection; she nearly kicked Lovina off the bed and huddled into a ball. God, there was a dead person's skin, tissue, whatever the fuck it was- inside her. Whimpering and shaking, she hid herself from the world's eyes.

"Antonia, please..." pleaded Lovina desperately, going round to the other side of the bed to try to look at her face and putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's not as bad at all like that... whoever it was _wanted_ you to have it, that's why they had a donor card. They save lives..."

"They didn't save my life they saved my fucking leg and now I'm part zombie!" She hissed, shoving her away. Once her friends found out— Was she going to crave flesh now—

"Hey!" she yelled, frowning. "Just because they didn't save your life doesn't mean they don't save lives. I'm only going to tell you one more time to have some fucking respect for people who try their best to help you; no one had to donate that! And you would be out of a job!"

_"Get out!"_ She wailed, trying not to connect the two images of her mother yelling at her and Lovina right here. "Just get the fuck _out_! You're not helping!"

Lovina stood up, scowling, going red with fury. "_Fine!_ I'm sick of trying to get through to you! I put myself through hell to help you and you don't give a shit! It's people like you who make me hate this job!" She crossed quickly to the door and slammed it closed, freezing in the hall.

Antonia froze, staring at the cold looking white door heading out to the hall. She was alone, again. Just like how her mother left her when she got flustered with her. The woman sniffed up her fears and pain, swinging her legs over the bed, despite all of the ache and rip, and limped to the bathroom.

Lovina didn't even deserve her attention now. She locked the door and sat in front of it, a weeping, horrible mess.

She stood in the hall for a long moment, breathing deeply and shakily - she was such an idiot. She had told a complete stranger everything, everything that worried her, hurt her, everything she tried to keep all bottled up, and had actually expected her to care. At least try to understand.

She only took a few steps before she realized her books, bag, and camera were still in the room. Lovina contemplated leaving them until later, but Antonia really couldn't be trusted. She barged back in, huffing. "Forgot my—"

The bed was empty. In a panic, she looked around the room, eyes setting on the bathroom door just in time for a loud whimper.

Her back was planted firmly against the door. No way in hell was anyone coming in unless she said so. This little amount of power helped her mood just a tad, even if someone was marching around outside her hiding hole. Probably a doctor searching for the little nosy shit known as Lovina...

She was being too harsh; this woman wasn't her mother... Moreover, anyone who had taken that much care of her and didn't scream at her to hand the money over was a good person to her.

Lovina edged to the door, and sat down beside it. If experience taught her anything, post-surgery hormones meant she'd be here for a while. Granted, that wasn't the whole problem, she had snapped at her. And swore at her. And the rest. She raised a hand and knocked the door timidly. "Antonia? It's me."

She stiffened, trying to remain calm. She reached over, keeping an arm on the door and flipped the switch to turn on the shower. Maybe now she'd think she wasn't coming out for a while.

"Antonia, please, don't go in there," Her small voice rushed, standing up and giving the door a shake. She was holding it closed. Dammit. "Antonia, please... you'll hurt yourself..."

"Just get your shit and go." She growled, shoving her right leg out of view. The area around the stitches seemed red and stressed, which concerned her mildly. She could see her nurse's shoes under the door, trying to get in.

Lovina grimaced, giving the door another rattle. "I can't, Antonia, just open the door, please...!"

"Why can't you, huh? It's sitting right there! Just take it!" She shouted, shoving off the water since that clearly wasn't working.

"Because I have to take care of you!" She yelled back desperately, going silent as the water shut off. "Thank you," she said, only slightly calmer. "Now, open the door. Please."

"You're like Bomb Squad. I'm not a terrorist." She spat. Silently unlocking the door just to see if she was really worth it. "Calm the fuck down." Maybe she should practice what she preached.

"Okay," she answered immediately, trying to keep her tone steady, her hands still on the handle. She felt it shift, but didn't push it. "I'm fine, everything's fine."

She raised to her feet, lifting her leg up to spare the pain she already gained. "Yeah, yeah, everything's just _peachy keen_." She scoffed, giving two small knocks to the door to show she could come in if needed.

She hesitated, not opening the door right away, to give Antonia some more time. "I'm sorry I shouted," She called through steadily, hands trembling on the door. Let her come out, let her come out; let her come out before she hurt herself... "I need you to go back to bed."

Since when did Lovina sound like a frightened little puppy? She couldn't help but want to help to calm her nerves through all of this anger. It wasn't even her fault, putting a dead person's tissue in her leg. It was her fault for even getting in the car drunk. "You're the only one I can trust here." She said calmly, her hand firmly on the handle.

Lovina was quiet, waiting for her to move. She took her hands off the door, watching it expectantly.

She opened the door just a crack, making sure there wasn't a team of doctors behind her.

"It's just me," whispered Lovina, realizing she was scanning the room. She edged the door open, looking Antonia over, and her breath caught at the sight of her leg red and swollen at her stitches. "Antonia..."

"I'm sorry," She whispered, itching at her neck. Lovina couldn't handle this stress, she should have just became someone else, something that didn't require all of the work she was causing for her. "I'm so sorry, Lovi."

After a fleeting moment of panic, she held out her hand, waiting for Antonia to take it in her own time and looking up at her with a fussy, bossy air again, though her breath still trembled.

She took it with both hands and pulled her in towards her, trying to get an embrace before any of the thick, awkward air steamed in around her. "I'm so sorry." Antonia tried in a lighter tone.

Lovina gasped and held her up, softening against her. She nodded against her chest. "I should have been more patient," She mumbled.

"I should have never gotten in that car," She shook her head, resting it on Lovina's little messy bun. "Are you always trying to put up your hair? Is it required?"

She looked up and shrugged. "Gets in my way."

She never wanted to say to cut it, it was too beautiful and wavy the way it was. "Have you ever heard of bobby pins then?" What she wanted to say was to ask if she could go to her house, and while she was sleeping, go outside and throw out all of these stupid little hair ties.

Lovina stared at her, perplexed. "What— you need to lie down, come on..." She took Antonia's arm more forcefully to take her back to the bed.

"Aw, c'mon, c'mon, I'm not that weak," She smirked, sitting down and slipping underneath the covers. "Do you live in an apartment?"

Antonia moved a hair out of Lovina's face as she was tucked in like a child in those Christmas movies, one of her nice dreams coming true for a brief moment. "But I bet its cozy enough."

Lovina just tutted. Sure, it was as cozy as it could be when you lived alone. "What about you?" She changed the subject, taking the arm closest to her out of the little cocoon and checking the scratches, wiping here and there.

"I live wherever I can, y'know, but my landlord kicks me out a lot because of my money problems when modeling jobs are scarce and the pay at retail is slow." She shrugged, watching her hands move around her arms, wiping up little spots with delicate swipes. "Sometimes I live at Francis's, other times I live with Gilbert, but when I can't go anywhere else, I go to my mom's and..." Antonia gulped, adjusting her spot.

"Where are you just now?" She asked, unrolling a fresh pad for her head wound.

"Here," She merely said. "I'll ask if I can stay with Francis or Gilbert, but I doubt it, since I'm blaming them for it."

"Towards me..." she muttered, her hand tilting Antonia's head and taking off the old pad. "You don't have any brothers or sisters?" Lovina shrugged and didn't look at her, failing to feign nonchalance. "Or a boyfriend? This is going to scar a little," She hastened to add, her face quite pink.

She shook her head, her lips forming a straight line. "I'm not really... into..." She coughed. "Guys." And that's all that had to be said, she thought. The way she interacted with Gil and Francis should have been enough. "My mom didn't have the faith or anyone to bang her, anyway."

Lovina paused in what she was doing and picked up again quickly, not wanting to give the wrong impression - she didn't want to seem like she disagreed or anything. "Oh," she said, mortified she couldn't think of anything else to say. "Do you... have a girlfriend?"

"Nope," She tried a happier voice, finding it failed her almost immediately and slipping her arm out and giving her the other one in case she needed to give her an IV for any drug they had in the hell-forsaken place. "I'm all single." She looked at her ring fingers, her neck, wherever a ring could be. "You got a boyfriend?"

She went quiet, taking the other arm and wiping it carefully. She had never had time to talk about this kind of thing... she loved Feliciano, dearly, of course, but he had always come first. What did anyone care about her sexuality when there were more important matters at hand?

Granted, she'd had a fleeting experience with the Hungarian girl he'd taken to prom, but that was it. There had barely even been tongue, she remembered, with a bitter edge. "Do I look like I have time for a boyfriend?" She scoffed under her breath, looking up at Antonia's face.

Antonia shrugged. "You can always have love, no matter how strange the timelines and schedules are." She said silently. Did that make her sound interested? She was. Kind of.

Yes, yes, she was. Lovina was so sweet when she wanted to be, she could tell.

"Maybe other people can..." Lovina muttered, finishing and sitting back in her chair, flicking her hair out of her face for the umpteenth damn time. "No one wants to come home to me shouting and screaming and panicking over nothing."

"It's just a project, is all." She smirked. "People like me like a challenge." She turned to the TV, trying not to look like a white sheet as that little bit slipped out. "Like driving cars in snow storms." Shit. Now she'd think she loved danger. "Or swimming in a marathon."

Lovina stared at her, not sure whether to be offended at being called a 'project' and a 'challenge' or intrigued by the fact that Antonia seemed to be volunteering herself.

No, she was reading too much into it. Idiot, idiot...

"Do you go looking for trouble?" She asked with a smirk, finally catching up with the rest of what she'd said.

"I guess if I'm in the hospital I shouldn't answer that," She laughed, scratching her bandages. She didn't want to ask if she could help with the house of Lovina's, or even if she would like to go out on one date, or a study date- Oh! That's what she'd do. "Do you need help studying for your intern things, Lovina?"

"You mean with you?" She asked, embarrassed at how surprised she sounded. "... I... just, a lot of it's... there's a lot of photographs, I don't want you to freak out..."

She shrugged. "It was just harder because it was _my_ leg," She hated to admit that the mere sight of blood made her squeamish, but she didn't think that mattered. They'd be pretty clean, right? There was a small trash bin right next to her bed in case. "I can handle it. What are you studying?"

She glanced over at the clock. Only fifteen minutes until her shift was over anyway, she may as well... "Well, actually, muscle hypertrophy and hyperplasia," She told her, collecting a heavy book and taking her seat again. "That's why I wanted to see your leg."

She probably looked like a confused chimp, as she might as well start making oo-oo-oo sounds and scratching her armpits. Lovina knew all of these big words and how to insert a needle into skin, and all she knew was how to con a bartender to get her five free drinks and other street smarts. "So, where are we starting?" She just thought she'd pick pieces of text and ask her questions, or go through one of her notebooks.

"We have to be able to tell which is which, and then what strains of it the patient is showing..." She explained, going into her uppity, fussy, know-it-all tone. Well, she'd barely spoken to anyone in months; it was a nice change... "See here," Lovina said, showing Antonia a page in the book, showing several pictures of slight deformities and twisted skin. She pointed to a woman with small yellow growths on her face. "She has sebaceous hyperplasia, it says so underneath there. If you describe the picture to me, I'll tell you what it is." She took a breath out, satisfied. "Ready."

Page 983. Where books even allowed having that many pages? She grimaced, playing with a piece of her curly brown ringlets. One of them was all gross and sweaty and probably dead now. "Dead-looking," She started.

"Uh..." She racked her brain. Nope. Too much in the tank for, 'dead-looking'. "Can you narrow it down? Do they have warts?"

"They kinda look like a frog..." She said through quite the frown. "She looks all stressed out; looks like she got Kirkland as a nurse. Ha ha ha." Antonia licked her lips, flipping through more pages of the book.

"Then it could be focal epithelial- hey!" She snapped, sitting forward. "None of that has anything to do with what we're talking about, what are you looking for?"

"But maybe I want to teach you about..." She leaned back, trying to read and see what that long word was and how you pronounced it. "Trabicycleosismosishocuspocus,"

"What the hell are you talking about?" tutted Lovina, turning the book towards her and scanning over the text. There was nothing on the page even remotely close to what Antonia had said. "Can we just stick to what we were doing?" she asked, exasperated.

"How do you even read something like tha-" She pouted, slamming the heavy book shut in frustration. No way in hell was she ever becoming a nurse. "Why do you even want to learn about this?"

So much for help! She snatched the book back and held it carefully. "Because it's important to me!"

"I want to help, but I can't!" She nearly whined, scooting down further. "I'm no use in this department... maybe you can study with Kirkland?"

"He flips his shit every time you make the tiniest mistake," she told her with a shudder. "Look, I didn't ask for your help, it's not your job to help me."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," She mumbled, shoving her blankets over her head. Obviously Lovina didn't hear her little confession before the surgery. "Maybe some of the other interns can help?"

Lovina sighed and took the covers down from her face. "I'll study when I get home; I don't have to do it right now... you just offered."

Antonia smiled with a small twist of hope. "Oh, well, I'm sorry I couldn't help."

Lovina shook her head, setting her book back down. "It's fine, really... I have to ask, how soon do you think you'll be leaving? Not that we're rushing you, but once your stitches heal a little more, you can go." She wasn't sure what to expect, Antonia had said she preferred hospital than her other options, but at the same time, she was constantly pushing her luck and getting distressed and routine checks.

She wanted to know if Lovina had extra space, if she wanted to get an apartment together; where they could help each other with rent. "Hey, Lovina, I gotta somethin' to ask," She sat up, holding a few of her notebooks to her chest just for something to clutch.

"Once I can get outta here... by chance do you want to..."

_C'mon, Antonia you aren't the soap opera girls, spit it out!_

"Flat?"

Lovina stared at her, confused. "Flat? Flat what?"

"I don't know? English terms are stupid." She laughed, looking away. "Live together in a flat? Is that what it is? Screw England, this place is weird."

"Live together?" She repeated, staring at her as if she were demented. "Antonia, there's barely space for me in my flat!"

"Well; we could get a new one!" She twirled her hair, braiding the ends. "I have enough money sitting around for new shoes and stuff from my foot job, we can buy a nice flat."

Lovina was quiet, watching her intently. "I don't know, Antonia," she finally managed to say. "We met three, four days ago? You're not... mentally stable to make decisions like that right now. You'll still be drowsy and you're being careless and..." She struggled to think of more reasons that it was a terrible idea. "I... I'd wake you up coming in every morning."

"I'm a pretty deep sleeper, and I'm totally stable," She argued calmly, sneaking a look at her. She still looked all stressed out. "But we could pitch in money, and your dog could come to live with us, if you want, Charlotte and him would be great friends, I bet." smiled Antonia, patting her shoulder.

She watched her, nervous, and stammered back into speaking, cheeks pink. "I mean... if you're saying that you couldn't take care of yourself on your own... I should stay with you..."

"I can take care of myself fine! I just, can't really cook anything, but churros..." She laughed.

"Then why do you want to live with me?" She asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"I think it'd be fun," said Antonia, rather honestly and confidently, she might add. "And together, we'd be unstoppable."

Lovina froze, feeling all the color drain from her before it rushed to her cheeks again. She scoffed, unable to think of anything to say. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that together, with our paychecks combined; with my retail and foot-model job, and your intern job, we'd rake in lots of money that we can share, and stuff." She offered, wanting to pick up her phone to look for photos of her turtle. She missed little Charlotte.

Oh. Unstoppable in a practical way. Obviously. Obviously not in any other way and Lovina was an idiot for letting that cross her mind— "... I don't think so," she said with finality, glancing away.

"Oh." She nearly grunted, surprised at the violent rejection. "Well, the offer's always there, so don't worry if you change your mind."

She nodded quickly and awkwardly, clearing her throat. "If you need me, you know where I am," she muttered, worried by Antonia's tone.

So much for dating, huh? Well, it tested the waters, at least. She obviously wasn't interested. She'd just stay at her mom's house then, just like old times. "Mhm," Moreover, she didn't even know what Lovina meant by it, but she was probably just saying it to make her feel better. To get her out of her hair, finally.

The air was quiet and tense. Lovina bit her lip and had to try a few times before she could speak. "I... It's nothing against you, I just..."

_"I know!"_ She was on the verge of raising her voice, and that wasn't good, was it? "I know," Antonia tried again, this time a bit more crackly. "I'll just stay with my..." Someone was knocking on the door. The frizzy old hair, the smoker's face, and the cheap clothing straight from The Salvation Army's trashcan were hard to forget. "…Mom."

Lovina looked up to the door and stood, glancing at Antonia and taking a few steps. She gave a little nod, trying to ask permission to let her in and assure Antonia at the same time, and started over to let her in.

"Don't," She begged. "Don't, please, _please_," She wanted nothing to do with that woman, and her nurse, her friend, one of the only people she could ever trust was just going to- let her in. "_Please_, Lovina, I'm begging you."

"They must have taken her as your emergency contact," she hissed, pausing only a few feet from the door. "What am I supposed to tell her?"

"Wrong room, I'm at Gil's house, I don't want her just get her away from me!" Streaks of water were streaming down her face now. She couldn't escape and there really was no escape. Her cold, spoiled apple colored eyes were tracing around the door, making sure the room really was her's. Frosted glass was a blessing.

"I can't tell her you're not here, Antonia..." she sighed, glancing at the door, starting to become extremely nervous at Antonia's reaction. "Wait here..." she slipped into the hall and closed the door tightly behind her.

She huddled up into a ball, slipping behind the side of the bed. From the angry, crackled and smoke-damaged voice, she knew her mother was having an absolute fit. Her name kept on popping out along with a set of violent curse words, and 'where is she where is she'. Antonia wanted to die, right there in the cozy, dimly lit hospital room. Lovina didn't deserve this treatment. She was too good willed.

Lovina had her hands raised, opening her mouth every few seconds to try to interrupt, panicking at being screamed at in that thick accent, hardly able to understand. "She's barely awake..." she would attempt, only to be drowned out by what she assumed was very colorful language. "She asked not to see anyone-" She was cut off again, growing more and more frustrated, her breath starting to race, eyes starting to prickle. "If you would listen I could answer your questions!" She raised her voice and immediately felt like clamping her hands over her mouth.

Antonia finally gathered her strength to just get out there, and face her fears. She stood up, limping off to the door and straightening her clothes, just to appear bigger than her. Swinging open the door to the woman, who she had feared for years too long, she took her arms and shoved them away.

"Stop it!" She nearly screamed, switching over to her Spanish tongue in case she dared to insult her nurse in a language she didn't understand.

Lovina spun around to her, putting a hand on her arm to stop her. "Antonia, its okay, go back to bed..."

"No, no, no, Lovina it's not," She nearly laughed. She had been waiting for this moment for years. "Listen here," She began, her voice running easily in the words of her native language. "If you dare hurt this woman I'll make sure you get cut off from any money streaming in to you keeping you alive, for as long as you walk the Earth." Antonia spat, pressing her nurse close to her chest.

She gave a short gasp and tried to step back, but it wasn't going to happen. Antonia was clinging to her, staring at her mother, after some particular outburst. Lovina could feel Antonia's heart racing, pressed tightly against her, and looked up to try to figure out what to do, but she was completely lost. She stood still and silent, waiting for either of the women to make a move.

Her mother drabbled on silently about how worthless Lovina was, how worthless all of this medical 'shit' really was. She pulled herself together, which at least calmed Antonia just a tad.

What Antonia _didn't_ expect was the fist to the face and the ripping away from her Lovina. She kicked with her good hand all she could but somehow this woman was so much stronger than she was.

"Antonia!" Lovina gasped, regaining her balance and rushing after them, slipping by them to block their path and grabbing her mother's arm. "She's injured, stop it!"

Her mother kicked her off, ripping away. She needed the money from Antonia's job to stay alive, and finally this hospital had brought her money back. Maybe now she could buy a damn smoke. Fucking nurse.

Antonia couldn't even walk straight. The stale smell of her horrible tyrant's body invading her senses with a trigger so mentally crippling, she almost lost the ability to keep her feet available.

She froze to the spot, shoved against the wall, and watched helplessly as Antonia tripped and stumbled and was hauled back up by her mother. She had no idea what to do, the more she fought, the more Antonia was grabbed at and dragged around like a rag doll. There was blood on her leg, her stitches torn. Lovina ran back, thundering on every door she went past for another nurse, a doctor, or even janitor, anyone to help her. She reached them again, begging desperately, trying to hold Antonia up and pull her mother back at the same time, half-slipping into Italian and trembling.

Antonia looked at her, wide-eyed and blinded by the yanking and tearing of all the pain. Her mother was losing stamina, she'd go out soon. The stairs would kill her. Lovina was crying out something, begging and yelling and screaming. She did her best to stay with her by shoving her feet in front of her mother, no matter how many stabs to the rib she took. Antonia did her best to resist for Lovina.

Lovina gripped the front of Antonia's clothes to try to hold her up, noticing her breaking into a feverish, pain-induced sweat, shaking and pleading— an errant leg swung her way and took her feet out from underneath her. She hit the ground and struggled to scrabble back to her feet, behind them now, unable to move in front past their scuffle, or get a hand on Antonia. She continued to attempt to pull the older woman back, clamping a hand around her arm.

Thankfully, Antonia's foot trick finally worked, because now they were in the middle of the corridor, her tailbone officially numb from all the falling and tossing.

"Help!" She wailed with her voice a shaking mess from all the terror that was in her mother's eyes. She slid from under her, noting that she had broken her mother's fall. "Get her away!" Antonia crawled back until she found herself against the wall, watching doctor after doctor swarm around her mother and assist her up to send her out.

Lovina ran to Antonia as soon as she fell, reaching her as she pressed herself against the wall and crouching beside her, putting her arms up over both of their heads. She stayed there until she heard the odious woman being pulled up and sat back slightly, eyes flickering over Antonia's bruised face. "Oh my God..." She gasped, her voice broken with dry, shocked sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

She couldn't speak. She was almost dragged out, never to see the light of freedom for a long time. Antonia watched as her mother's eyes glared at her on her way out, how the large doctors promptly escorted her out the doors and down the stairs, her arms confined in there grasps. It wasn't until she couldn't see her or hear her that she relaxed into Lovina, unable to cope with what just went on.

She was shaking as she ran her fingers carefully over Antonia's face - it was bruised, her cuts opened and reddened, starting to bleed lightly. Lovina could feel her scrubs sticking to her from the blood from Antonia's leg on the ground beside her. She sobbed and put her arms around her shoulders, resting a hand on the back of her head and rocking her gently. "You- you need to come h-home with me... it'll be okay..."

Antonia didn't realize the small tears licking down her cheeks, burning into her cuts and scratches. _"Okay,"_ She replied in a small voice, hopefully just enough to calm her down. Nurses were coming back in after a short while, leaning and kneeling down to help. Lovina, who was an emotional wreck beside her, didn't seem to want to move.

"I'll try harder," She whispered, pushing Antonia's hair behind her ear, becoming more angry than scared, looking at her with determination. "I'll take care of you." Another nurse put a hand on her shoulder and she had to get up to help Antonia onto the bed that had been pushed out into the hall to take her back to be re-stitched.

Shaking and nodding, she sat on the bed, lying back with a terrified look in her eyes. She could still smell her mother on Lovina and her own gown. She was still locked in that state of terror. "I _need _a shower." She said silently, to the Italian beside her. Now she probably looked like the aftermath of a deer in headlights.

Lovina shook her head, stroking Antonia's face with her thumb. "You have to go and get fixed up, you can wash later... I'll still be here..."

"Okay." She forced a small smile. "I love you," Antonia closed her eyes, concentrated on something other than the pain, the sweet, soft stroke of Lovina's thumb she craved each day, or perhaps the scent of stale smoke lingering on her clothes.

Her chest tightened and she gave a breathless laugh, sniffing back a few tears and shaking her head. How Antonia thought that was so important after what had happened to her, she had no idea. She laced her fingers through hers and held on tightly while she was given her injections, and the mask was brought back to put her under. "We'll count to ten together, okay?" asked Lovina, running a hand slowly over her hair to calm her. "I'll be there when you wake up, I promise."

Antonia nodded, sniffling her nose_. "Ok-ay,"_ She let go of Lovina's hand because she couldn't count with her voice just yet. She held up her fingers, one, two, three, four... The mask was put on her, the loud noise of flowing air drowning out her sweet, soft little voice into a blur of wind. Antonia hesitated, but put up her fifth finger, and then her other hand was raised, trembling only slightly.

"Six..." She said calmly, putting her hand on the back of Antonia's and rubbing her fingers while her eyelids drooped and she lost consciousness. "Seven..."

She didn't expect the gas to knock her out the fast- good lord, she thought she'd pass out after ten seconds, but no, this time they put the mask on five seconds late and it only took her three seconds to go. At least she was happy for the last few moments she was there. Soon it'd be over.

. 0 .

Lovina had fallen asleep. Twice. In addition, she woken up in blind panic, looking at the clock and breathing sighs of relief. Eventually, Antonia was brought back to her room and left to wake up in her own time, so she sat in the chair at her bedside, folding her arms on the mattress and placing her chin on top, curling her own fingers against Antonia's and watching her chest rise and fall slowly while she slept.

Antonia's dreams weren't going so well. Mostly just running from the snake who visited her earlier. Tried to kidnap her.

Just as her ghostly arms clasped around her legs, she felt the same falling action. At impact, Antonia gasped awake, clutching the nearest thing, which turned out to be Lovina's hand. That was such a nice thing to wake up from a nightmare. It nearly calmed her instantly.

She blinked up at her tiredly, raising her fingers to her mouth and giving them a quick, shy peck before putting them against her cheek and settling down again. "You okay?"

She blushed as the Italian sunk back down into her spot. No, no, this couldn't be happening. She'd never do that. "Is my mind playing tricks on me or am I still dreaming?" She joked, the half of her mouth resting in the crook of her pillow

"Nope," She hummed, looking up at her, feeling her heart sink at her shiny bruised face and newly scabbed cuts. "How do you feel?"

Antonia reached up, pinching her arm for a bit and slamming her eyes shut, but there was no rush of reality. She relaxed back, sighing contently. "Sore," She answered.

"Well, that didn't help," she tutted, brushing Antonia's other hand off her arm. Idiot.

She laughed. Oh. Oh. Oh. No, no, no. Antonia winced, pressing her rib. "What did she do to my rib?"

"Broke," she told her quietly, looking up and squeezing her hand. She didn't know what to say, so she just shrugged and echoed herself. "I'm sorry. About everything."

"Really?" She asked. She couldn't really remember anything that happened, other than the fall and the screaming and that punch she got to her jaw. "It's fine, I'm fine."

Lovina sat up straighter and looked at her, her eyes wider than they had been. "Really. You remember, don't you?"

Antonia shook her head, confused. "Could you elaborate on that...?" She asked.

Oh, God. Her chest clenched once again, not sure how much she knew, would she have to go from the start and work on? "Your mother was here? You know that?"

She nodded. "She punched me right here..." She pointed to the left side of her face.

"That's right," nodded Lovina, disheartened, slumping back in the chair and dropping her hand. "You had a fight and you had to go back to the OR."

"I remember a bunch of screaming, but after that it's all fuzzy,"

She tried not to sigh audibly, nodding, tight-mouthed. "They took her out. There'll probably be some legal issues, you can do something to keep her away from you," she replied monotonously, trying to ignore the fact that her eyes were wet. She crossed her arms indignantly, glancing around the room so she didn't look at Antonia.

"I can remember feeling really, really, happy before I went under, though. They gassed me. I can't recall why," She said silently, her face sinking when Lovina slipped away. "... Did I say something stupid?"

Lovina looked up at that, considering just spilling and hoping for the best... but she couldn't. If Antonia hadn't meant it, if she still didn't remember, if she didn't believe her... "They took you to the operating room," she answered, and looked up at the clock, sighing deeply. "Well, I've been here for... twenty-eight hours... another nurse is taking my shift for the next few nights, so..." She hesitated, still sitting in the chair, her breath always catching in her lungs and her chest tight. "I'll see you whenever."

"Wait, wait, wait!" She yelled, bolting up in her bed, her hair a wild mess. "Don't go. I wanna come with." She nearly broke her mind thinking as she tried to remember. "You said I could come with before. You said you'd take care of me. You promised." Antonia accused, pointing her finger at her.

She froze, cursing internally. Of course, she would remember that. "They have to keep an eye on you here for a while," She told her plainly. With any luck, she would make other arrangements while she was absent, and Lovina wouldn't have to face her every day in such close quarters.

Antonia nodded, looking clearly let down. "Te amo," She said, picking up her phone and pursing her lips. It almost slipped out naturally, as if she'd said it before. "Buenos noches."

Lovina paused again, standing beside the bed, almost afraid to ask.

_"What did you say?"_ She whispered anxiously.

"You don't know it in Spanish? Ti amo, then. I love you." She said, looking up from her phone to her nurse.

She went silent for a moment, before breaking into a huge, slightly teary smile her breath shuddering as she sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on Antonia's, watching her eyes flicker. "Thank God," She breathed, edging forward.

Antonia said something stupid. Something stupid that she forgot. If she didn't say those three little words, she might have walked out on her. Antonia smiled, since good Lord, just look at that beautiful, beautiful smile and all those white teeth. "Sorry I forgot," Antonia chuckled, planting a small kiss on her cheek.

Lovina shook her head, chewing her smile and putting a gentle hand up to Antonia's scarred cheek. "You should be..." She snorted, and closed her eyes, leaning carefully across the bed and pressing her lips against Antonia's. Finally.

She raised her hands to Lovina's neck, kissing with her, probably making the moment bigger than it was meant to be.

She kissed back, of course she did, but she pulled her face away when Antonia became slightly more forceful, shifting on the bed. "Easy," She scolded, thinking of her battered ribs and newly sewn leg. "Be careful."

Antonia settled back, laughing, and a little giggling mess. "Oh my god~!" cried she, trying not to hurt her ribs. "Oh my god, oh my god, Lovina you have lips like an angel!"

"Shut up," she answered immediately, going pink and trying not to smile. "You're doped up again..."

"Maybe! I don't react like a monkey on these meds!" She played with Lovina's nails, grinning like a fool.

She laughed, rubbing Antonia's fingers with her own and tutting. "You know, I really do have to go home... I've slept for... thirty minutes in the past two days."

"Go. Go." She patted her hands. "Go... as soon as you give me your number in case I need your support." Antonia handed Lovina her phone.

Lovina huffed and took the phone, struggling a little to find where to enter her number, making a few educated guesses to get past the Spanish. "There." She handed it back, and bent over to kiss Antonia lightly on the head. "I'll come back after I've had some sleep."

"I'll probably just be sleeping, too." She smirked. "Telenovas, too. Kirkland doesn't approve but then again when does he? Have a good break, cutie. Love you."

She smiled, going to the door; too nervous to say anything else... she berated herself silently.

Oh, suck it up, Vargas!

"Love you," she rushed, turning around. She gave another nod and turned back again, cheeks burning, a giddy grin still on her face.

Who would have known you could find your lover in such a strange place?


End file.
